State Of Mind

Without a doubt, it's been a crazy past 8 days or so.   I was going to say week, but then realized it actually started one week ago last night with our spur of the moment trip to WinStar and subsequent "winning" trip to a casino for a change.

Along the way, there's been a lot of, well, let's just say something a little bit less than any kind of "happy" feeling...

• Wondering how in the F*ck we could get so far behind that a 600.00 win from the casino couldn't really get close to pulling out from the debts (although it did help quite a bit).
• Thinking how cruelly ironic it was that one month, THIS month, we had to run up against a bunch of crap like we've dealt with the past few weeks (financially).  Of all months, one of two months of the year where we have to come up with approximately 200.00 more for HOA dues...

I can guarantee you that when these thoughts were going through my mind, there were a lot more bullet points than 2...

So Much For That...For Now

Yeah, see... I had this "grand" idea of starting another blog.  You know - like several times before.  Tired of seeing the same old negative, depressing posts.  So, we start fresh.  A new blog, fresh start, blah blah blah.  Plus, it was under my most frequently used Google account, so I wouldn't have to go through that game of switching id's every time.  Famous last words, again.

I didn't intend it to be this way.   However, had I thought about it for a few more seconds, I would have realized that the current financial situation (shitty) (wait - hasn't that been our financial situation forever??? - I beg your pardon...I guess the others were shitty, this is extremely shitty).  Now see - that's the type of pervasive negativism that I hate to see over and over again.  Truth of the matter is, though - merely starting a new blog in admist a bunch of even crappier crap ain't going to change things. 

I've had a lot of stuff cross my mind lately...how in admist periods of not so good times, along comes some shittier times. 

I Wish...

• That I could provide some kind of reliable income for my family
• To be free of this constant worry/depression from our miserable financial situation
• That I could (to begin with) get people to buy the freaking items I have up for sale on CL
• That Jolene would actually keep her room looking decent, clean up any nasty spills instead of leaving them
• That Jolene would move out (soon) (nothing personal - we just can't afford to feed another mouth)
• Lots of other things...

Really Pissy Day

I guess "Pissy" is a pretty accurate description.  Mad, pissed off, whatever you want to call it.  Disgusted.  Here we are, scraping the bottom of the fucking barrel again.  Ultimately, it all comes back to me no matter what, and I accept that.  It just pisses me off that we could have an another 175.00 if Shelly hadn't insisted on taking the kids to Fossil Rim and then going to "Mariah's Birthday Party".  175 bucks pissed away.  I haven't even guesstimated our newest numbers after this last shit.

Pissed that no one even wants to hint at buying any of the stuff that could bring us some good money.  Not even a fucking question.

First Post

Not quite sure why I didn't try this before...instead of having to log in and out of Google Accounts...gee, I just created a new blog under sollycholly@gmail.com and, Voila' - new blog, no login/logout.

Some thoughts...

Yeah, I know.  Things suck.  I suck.  Win 600 or so at WinStar and we're still looking at some kind of financial oblivion.  Unless things change.  Obviously, I don't care for the way things are going.  A lot of that begins and ends with $$, how we (mis)manage it, etc.  I guess it just doesn't do much for me trying to figure out how to make it every month when you're down (whatever) 300+  PLUS whatever other stupidity comes your way.  Throw in the fact that it didn't work Feb - May or ?  Feb - June? - when we had real PLUS money... and that.just.sucks.

I digress - but I had to.

I don't want this to become a "negative" blog.  However, that's what I've said about the last few I created.  That can't seem to be avoided when shit is constantly hitting the fan and/or I'm just not "making the most" of my opportunities or somesuch.

Let's face it - best case scenario we MIGHT eek by - and that's if we suddenly sell things (guitar/paintings/bball/wii) that haven't been selling for the past two-three months.  I mean - with the exception of quizzing/misdirected emails about possible trades - with the exception of the guitar, (one almost) no one is even asking about it/making lowball offers/nothing.  And that SUCKS.  Ballz.  So something has to change - and even then, I can't just sit here on my ass and pretend that they will.  There are a few things I want to try/etc...but I've got to focus on something else that's going to work.  Now.